Sara’s note: When I first thought of keeping a blog, I hoped to use it as a forum to encourage others fighting cancer and to post the stories of those who have faced this battle. To that end I asked my good friend, Teresa Sears, to write about her experience. I am so happy to be able to share Teresa’s insight and know it will encourage others.
Cancer. A reminder of my own mortality. In a death-denying society, there is no need to think beyond life today. Until the intruder appears. And then I am left to ponder.
Why me? Why now? Why this intrusion? Is there a reason this is happening to me? Is there a purpose in this pain?
Questions that force me to contemplate the meaning of life, my life, the brevity of my life. Questions that ordinarily linger in the back of my mind, wrestling for attention but shoved back out of the way while I do life. But now they take center stage, demanding answers not avoidance.
Will I pay attention? Will I search out the answers that are there? Or will I choose to interpret this as just another hurdle to jump in my senseless self-sufficient life?
I listen. To the call of one higher than I. To the challenge to step away from the mundane and examine the purpose of life, my life. To contemplate my own mortality. To think about eternal life. To experience God.
He was there in the vulnerability, the exposure, the humiliation of cancer. He was there every morning in the radiation room. In the moments I felt so alone, He reassured me that I was never alone. Not from the day of my birth to the day of my death. He was and is and will be there. Holding me in pain, quieting me in anxiety, comforting me in loneliness. There! Giving meaning to my life. He is life.
"He will endure as long as the sun, as long as the moon, through all generations. He will be like rain falling on a mown field, like showers watering the earth…." (Psalm 72:5,6)
Copyright © 2014 Teresa Sears & Photograph Copyright © 2013 Teresa Sears