For those
facing cancer bad moods and anger are often part of the package. Is it normal?
How do we combat it? Excerpted from The Bald Headed, Tattooed,
Motorcycle Mama's Devotional Guide for Women Battling Cancer & Those Who
Love Them.
Bad Mood Days:
My chemo schedule was every three weeks. I had
the treatment, and then had three weeks off until the next one. The first week
was the hardest but by the second week the side effects really eased up and by
the third week I was feeling pretty good. However, during the second week, like
clockwork, I would wake up one day in a really bad mood. Bad, bad mood. I would
wonder, what is wrong with me? I went to bed normal and woke up a potential
serial killer.
I was angry
about everything: having cancer, my pillows weren’t comfortable, I didn’t like
the taste of my food, the curtains looked funny, my favorite TV show’s season
ended, and on and on. I told my husband during these days it was best just to
leave me alone. I wasn’t fit to talk to, so stayed holed up in the bedroom. It
seemed like even the cats and the dog didn’t want to disturb me.
On one of these
bad mood days Dave knocked on the door, cautiously opened it a crack, set my
favorite ice-cream sundae on the bedside table and closed the door again. Not a
word spoken. This still makes me smile. It was like sneaking food into a lion’s
cage. And that gesture reminded me, I was still loved.
Is anger wrong?
Is it normal during cancer treatment? There are certainly a lot of legitimate
things to be mad about. The Bible states, “In
your anger do not sin.” (Ephesians 5:26). This means anger is to be
expected, it comes with life, seeing things that don’t make sense, feeling
pain, seeing people hurt, or injustices done. I think the key is not to lash
out. I love my husband, but when I am upset he is usually the one who receives
the brunt of my anger, undeservedly. God has really been opening my eyes to
this sin in my life. So what can we do instead? First and foremost pray. God
knows your anger, He knows your reasons, and He is not afraid of the angry you.
You can talk to Him honestly and pour out your heart, all of it, including the
dark corners. He does not shy away from your pain and honest feelings.
Secondly, talk
to a friend. A good friend, the kind that does not judge but will listen and
pray with you. Those kinds of friends are worth their weight in gold. And when
you pray together, wow, it is powerful. Bringing your soul before God and
praying with friends gives God the opportunity to work in your heart. He can
dissipate the intense anger and replace it with His peace. It may take time,
but He can walk into that lion’s den and tame the lion.
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and
slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one
another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” Ephesians
4:31-32.
The Bald Headed, Tattooed, Motorcycle Mama’s Devotional Guide is
an uplifting month long, daily devotional for women battling cancer and their
loved ones, written with humor to lighten the heart. Copyright © 2013 by Sara
Nelson O’Brien
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